


It Must Run in the Family

by Amyrose47



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Bisexuality, Funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 01:44:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyrose47/pseuds/Amyrose47
Summary: Based on a crazy dream I had but I thought it was funny and worth sharing. Ketch bugs the bunker and finds out about Destiel. A hilarious conversation follows. Rated mature for language.





	It Must Run in the Family

"What's this asshole doing here?" Dean asked as he entered the war room, beer in hand. Arthur Ketch stood at the far end of the table. He stood straight as a rod, stick still lodged firmly up his ass. "Dean. I'd tell you to bite me, but I'm afraid you actually might." Ketch remarked. "That's right, be afraid. Be very afraid." Dean quipped. Mary and Sam sat across from each other and they were exchanging looks of annoyance. Dean pulled a chair out and sat next to Sam. 

"Ketch is here because he says he can help us locate the artifact we've been looking for." Sam informed him. "Oh yeah, great." Dean said sarcastically. "And how, pray tell, does he know what we're looking for?" No one answered. "I'm sorry, am I missing something here?" Dean asked. "I know, because I bugged the bunker several weeks ago." Ketch stated in his matter-of-fact way. No wonder his mom and brother were annoyed, Dean thought. 

"Do you get off on ease dropping? Is that a British thing, or are you just a kinky bastard?" He asked. Ketch glared daggers at him. "Do you want help or not?" He questioned. "From you? Nah, I think we'll pass." Dean answered. "Dean." Sam interjected, "We could actually use the help on this one." Was his brother freakin' serious? "Sam, he put bugs in our common areas. There are not words to describe how uncool that is." 

Ketch smirked at that. "Not just your common areas. You underestimate me, Dean." All three Winchester's glared at the British man of letters. "Where are they Ketch?" Mary asked angrily. "Oh, let's see...there's one in the library, the kitchen, the dungeon, one in each of the rooms..." Dean shot up out of his chair, the legs of which screeched across the tile floor. "WHAT?!?" He yelled. "You have got to be kidding." Mary protested. "You American Hunter's don't offer up information that easily." Ketch explained. "That doesn't justify you bugging the entire bunker." Sam replied. "I mean...What, do you have a whole entire team listening in on us?" He asked in disbelief. "Yes." Ketch answered simply. "I certainly don't envy them. You would not believe what goes on around here behind closed doors." Ketch caught Dean's gaze and Dean turned an embarrassing shade of red.

"You sick son of a bitch." Dean yelled. "You can take whatever help you brought and shove it right up your lily white ass." Dean turned to leave but stopped when Ketch started speaking again. "What's the matter, Dean. Afraid Mommy will find out about what you and the angel have been up to?" Dean stood frozen, his back still turned to the room. "Fuck you." He told Ketch before walking off down the hall. Sam fought back a smirk unsuccessfully. "Busted." He shouted in Dean's direction. "Fuck you too Sam!" He shouted back before disappearing into his room. Sam laughed and shook his head. 

"I don't know what it is with you Winchester's and inter-species relations." Ketch commented. "It bothers you that Cas is an angel, but not that he's a guy?" Sam asked. "I see nothing wrong with bisexuality." Ketch replied. Sam shrugged. "How open minded of you." He said. "Wow. I thought there might be something between those two." Mary said thoughtfully. "Yeah. It's been obvious for an obnoxiously long time." Sam informed her. 

"Shall we talk about the angel you're pining over?" Ketch asked Sam. Sam gave him a puzzled look. "Hey, man. I've had 'relations' with monsters and demons but not angels." He said. Though the statement sounded weird once he said it out loud. His mom even looked slightly shocked. "Well, Sam you're quite the talker when you sleep." Ketch smiled. "Going on and on about the archangel Gabriel." He watched Sam's face intently as he spoke. "Gabriel?" Sam raised an eyebrow in question. "Why Gabriel?" He asked himself more than Ketch. "I'm not even bisexual." He said. "Your dreams beg to differ." Ketch stated.

Mary grinned and shook her head in disbelief. "You know, when I told you boys that angels were watching over you, this isn't exactly what I meant." She laughed. Ketch managed a smile at that. "What about you, Mary? Are you into some ethereal being as well?" He joked. Mary laughed again. "Not that I'm aware of. Why, what in-tell have you gathered from the bug in my room?" She asked. "None, actually. Though I'm not surprised. You are quite the professional." Ketch commented. Mary just nodded in response. 

"Does it bother you that Dean and I might be into guys?" Sam asked his mom. "No." She said simply. "It seems bisexuality runs in the family." Sam choked on air. "What?" He asked through a coughing fit. "Not your dad, of course. He was as straight as they come." She clarified. "Mary?" Ketch said, impressed. "Too much information." Sam said, standing up. "I"m going to go take a shower and scrub my mind clean." He informed. "Care for some company in there?" Ketch asked. "Fuck you Ketch." He said and then walked off down the hall. 

Mary and Ketch remained in the war room, both smiling from the events that just took place. "Care for a threesome?" He asked Mary. She shook her head and stood. "You are unbelievable." She told him. "Seriously, I have a lady friend that I could call." He said. "Fuck you Arthur." Said laughed before heading into the kitchen. "Is that a yes?" He called behind her. She flipped him the bird and he chuckled. Now he was all alone in the war room. "Call if you require my assistance. I'll just..." He hollered. "...see myself out then." 

Cas emerged from the library at that moment, book in hand. He looked at Ketch, then back toward the library, then back at Ketch. "What are you doing here?" He asked. "Exposing the relationship between you and Dean, and the fact that Sam has a thing for Gabriel. Oh, and that Mary is also a bisexual, apparently." Ketch and Cas stared at each other for a few moments. "Oh. Okay."


End file.
